The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , visit homepage resulting in effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and directory relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and Homepage it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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