The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't learn the facts here now really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the see here now partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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